Monday, July 23, 2007

What are people thinking?

While we were at the beach, my uncle's bitchy wife said something that made me realize I was potentially in for 18 more weeks of rudeness from random people who think other people's lives are their business to freely comment on.

What happened was, we were all sitting around in the beach house living room chatting. Someone asked Husband and I if we'd decided on a name for baby girl #3 yet. We told them no but we'd welcome suggestions if they had any. My mom tossed out a few, another aunt suggested something, and then the bitchy aunt said, "How about, 'Oh no, another girl'?"

I yelled back at her, "What the hell's wrong with girls?", surprised that she, a mother of a girl herself and--hello! a former girl!--would say such a thing. Fortunately, she didn't pursue it any further.

This isn't the first time with this pregnancy that people have acted weird or said stupid things to me. Having a third child--and a third girl--has meant I've received several rude comments that I didn't get the first two times around. People were all dewy-eyed when I was pregnant with my first and second, but seem to feel that I'm just going too far, being too decadent or something with a third. For the most part, people are just stopped short and frowningly say, "Oh!" when informed that this is my third baby. And no gooey congratulations, needless to say. If they find out it's another girl, then they also express sympathy for me that it's not the boy that they assume we were trying for. We weren't. We just wanted a third kid.

I suppose no matter what, people are going to have opinions about how you run your life. Why is it, though, that the sight of a pregnant woman makes them want to say them out loud?


Tammy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tammy said...

okay, lets try again....

I think that people just project their own feelings and can't resist-- don't know why everyone has to share their opinions though. It seems like everyone, especially family and strangers, are pleased by symmetry and expect that we must be displeased with multiple kids of the same gender.

Your girls are great kids and I'm sure that the next one will be just as lovely. Congratulations!

DSB said...

Unbelievable! Why can't people just mind their manners?

Manic Mom said...

People are freaking idiots! Congrats btw, I didn't know you were pregnant! I can't remember how old your girls are, but did you have a miscarriage before this pregnancy or in between the first two? Why am I thinking you did? Or maybe I'm thinking of another blogger? Anyway, congrats, and a girl is a girl is a girl and it's wonderful and they will all grow up to be the best of friends! I am sad my daughter doesn't have a sister to grow up with, just two brothers! I also remember people said stupid things when I was pregnant with #3 because we already had a boy and a girl, and they were like, "What are you trying for?" A FREAKING BABY, OK!!!

Stay well! : )

cubmommy said...

That happened to me as well. My side of the family was like you are having a third why.

When strangers would see us with the boys they would say oh are you hoping you are having a girl.

I was saying in my head "no, we weren't even planning this pregnancy so whatever we have it will be ok."

I would have been happy with three boys. I am happy with a girl. Everybody is healthy and that is all that matters.

People can be so rude. The lady that works at the laundry mat I go to said one day late in my pregnancy "are you sure you are having one because it looks like two in there."

I wanted to smack her.

Like Manic said your girls will be great friends. I think that is great.

Hope you are feeling well!

Beth said...

people can be so rude!!! When I was pregnant with my youngest boy...people thought they could say anything....and acted like Iwas the one solely responsible for the over-population of the world. what do they care? I'm not asking them to raise the children I happen to give birth to....sheesh!!

show your belly proudly girl....

Joan said...

Yeah, I have a boy and girl so my family must be complete! How stupid.

Mama D said...

I don't understand why people find three kids to be SO many. A lot of people I know have three kids or more. I guess in this age of vanity and greed more kids means less money for vacations and more 'stuff'. I don't know.

And girls are freakin' great! I'm torn about whether I'm actually prepared to have a boy the next time. (not that I'm pregnant or there is any guarantee that I'll have a boy) I find my mind wandering to think about having two little girls and how sweet that would be.

It's good that you have had all girls. The world needs more strong, independent, intelligent, stubborn, self assured and beautiful women. And you are the perfect person to raise that kind of woman!

Suburban Gorgon said...

I can't WAIT for us to have another girl. I mean, really, like any of us are ever going to have any boys. I'm just thrilled that our clothing swap will get to go through at least one more child. And any baby of yours is a friend of mine, girlie girl. See you for coffee on Sunday!