Friday, June 29, 2007

What to say

I haven't meant to take quite such a long blogging hiatus. Sister's been at the beach with her dad all this week and rather than her absence providing me with a break, I've found instead that Bean's been requiring quite a bit more of my time than I was expecting. Sister keeps Bean entertained much more frequently than I realize, I think.

But the other thing occupying my mind lately is a friend in the intensive care unit of the hospital. She's got very aggressive thryroid cancer and isn't going to last much longer. She may be moving to a hospice facility today, but I'm still waiting to hear from another friend if that's the case.

I have known my sick friend for about 15 years now, but we haven't been in contact much since our lives diverged. She's an ardent feminist and activist, never married or shacked up, never had kids or even pets. I, on the other hand,...well, here I am a stay-at-home mama, pregnant with my 3rd baby and engrossed lately in another quilting project. I love her, but our lives haven't have had much in common for some years. Even the restaurant business fell away as something we both shared.

Still, I visited her in the hospital the other night and it was devastating to see her just dying right in front of me. I spent that night dreaming dark dreams of her and hospitals. My life isn't on hold like certain of her other, closer friends' lives are right now. She has nearly 'round the clock company from her many other friends, none of whom have children. Nevertheless, I've found myself unmotivated to blog about the trivial details of my life just now. Vacations, summer colds, Bean's new tricks, and even the fact that I learned I'm pregnant with daughter #3 on Monday seem like very light fare indeed compared to an old friend dying in the hospital.

3 comments:

Joan said...

I know that's tough. I've been emailing and following a blog of a local guy and ASU alum who is nearing the end. He really wanted to hang in there to go with his family to Florida. He was able to.
Congrats on daughter #3. I noticed you haven't blogged. I thought maybe you were so happy with your hair color you ran off.

Beth said...

another daughter!!! What a blssing.

I know it's hard when your life with friends takes a different turn...not having anything in common anymore. But at least you saw your friend and she knew you were there for her...that's all really that you can do. It sounds very devastating...and it's good that she has people around her. that doesn't make you any less important to her tho, just remember that.

I am done( I think!) with my little project and will be mailing it to you shortly!

Mama D said...

3 Girls. Fun! Congratulations!

I'm sorry about your friend. It sounds like the kind of situation that is sad for so many, many reasons.