The Bean is better today. She's down for her first nap of the day, Sister is successfully, if perhaps a little sadly, off to another day of second grade. And it's mama-time! I was up at 6:15 today and actually got a shower! I'm wearing make-up and have had breakfast ! This day is already a success as far as I'm concerned.
But lest I get too gleeful, I should remember that the errand for the day is shopping for pants. Now that the cold weather is here to stay I've got to find something other than capris to wear, and I'm sorry to say that 7 months post-childbirth I still don't fit into enough of my long pants. The whole not-exercising, home-alone-with-the-baby-and-the-fridge thing is not the way to go if I really cared about losing the last of the pounds. Do I care? Y'know, I guess I really don't, which is sort of surprising.
The truth is I used to care a lot about how I looked and the things I put on my body. I still have a closet full of gorgeous vintage dresses that I used to wear along with matching hats, stockings, costume jewelry, the works! Dressing everyday was fun when with that stuff to work with and that much time on your hands in the mornings. But now I'm a nursing mother. I have to strap the baby in her backpack most mornings in order to walk Sister to school. Vintage dresses and late-model backpack? With stockings? I don't think so. So along with my closets stuffed with vintage frocks, I find myself with drawers full of nursable black v-neck t-shirts, baggy jeans, cheap capris, and yes, khakis. Something in me hates khakis, even though the particular pair I'm thinking of happens to be about the most flattering article of clothing I can fit into at the moment. And my mom gave them to me, okay?
Still, though, my previous uniform is history for the time being. I wonder, too, how many moms at Sister's elementary school have done the same. Maybe none of them. Maybe they've always dressed the khakis and sneakers way and have never been the vain clotheshorse that I am. Or maybe they've made the same sacrifices to practicality and are waiting for the day when they can plausibly slip on that '40's era crepe dress that evokes Mommie Dearest (heh-heh), that silk flapper-style butterfly print number, those gabardine pants and rayon blouse with delicate glass buttons. God, do I miss wearing that stuff sometimes! One of these days, when I don't need to have accessible breasts and don't leak milk, when my kids can walk themselves to school, when I can go out again for some social occasion rather than errands to Target and the grocery store and the mega-mall, you'll find me in purple crepe with jet beading, in tiny printed rayon, in green rhinestones, in navy blue silk...
In the meantime, it's to Marshall's and T.J. Maxx for cotton twill. But not in khaki.