Friday, November 04, 2005

Prelude to a road trip

I woke up in a shitty mood this morning for absolutely no good reason. Bean only woke up once last night, so you'd think I'd be bouncing off the walls with good cheer, given that her habit of late has been to wake MANY times. Sister had a great day at school yesterday, rated 2 smiley faces on the behaviour chart her teacher has taken to keeping. I even got to bed at a reasonable hour. So what the hell is wrong with me?

We're going to the gorgeous mountain city of Asheville, North Carolina after lunch today. Husband, Bean and I are all driving up together. (Sister is with her dad for the weekend, as she is most weekends. I'll post about my Ex sometime...) I love Asheville, having separated from the Ex up there--a fiercely happy, vivid, and, it must be admitted, kinda slutty year for me, though hopefully Sister never finds that out. (Husband has some inkling since he was a part of it.) I'm looking forward to being there again and walking down those old streets among the still intact Art Deco buildings, bookstores, and coffee shops, hiking with Bean, viewing the leaves turning colors on the Blue Ridge Parkway. I lived there 5 years ago, and haven't really been back since except for a stop for lunch once on another trip. It really is a wonderful town.

I guess it's the prospect of driving 4 hours with a baby who hates car rides that's got me down. God knows how many hours longer this usually manageable trip will be extended because of stops for nursing, diaper changes, baby exercise, etc. That prospect plus the feeling that I'm nothing more than a maid and housewife these days is what's making me so pissy. By the time Bean and I are left to our own devices everyday, after Husband's gone to work and Sister's in school for the day, I'm facing the aftermath of the morning. The bathroom floor has puddles of standing water, there are coffee grounds all over the kitchen counters, beds are unmade, little droplets of spit-up have crusted over on the floor throughout, and there's sugar all over the kitchen sink. (Why the hell is there that much sugar all over the goddamn sink?)

"Stay-at-home mom" sounds like there's some fun, or at least a darling baby, to it. "Housewife" just reeks.


Mommygoth said...

Even though I work, to some extent I do know what you mean, particularly on those long Sundays when D is at work and Miss K and I are all alone in the world. And I miss my jewelry terribly - my rings and earrings are growing tarnish in the closet, but I keep reminding myself that someday I will be able to wear them again without having them ripped from my body and eaten. Even at work I'm very conscious of my new image here - I'm a "mom" now, and I'm somehow different than I was. Try to use this weekend to remember naughty Mama. And also remember that most people get to be Mamas by doing the NASTY, so you can't be that staid and proper, can you? :->

trisha said...

I like your style:) Way to breastfeed! Awesome.

(I stopped by via Mommygoth via POW.)