Thursday, September 21, 2006

Terrible tasks

The past 48 hours have been filled with all sorts of sucky events. 2 days ago, I experienced perhaps my single worst day as mama to Sister. It involved a 1-1/2 hour long bout over very hard subtraction homework during which Sister alternately cried, whined, moaned, and threw fits. There were exactly six problems on this homework sheet, by the way. Six. At one point I totally lost it, grabbed Sister by the arm, and hustled her up the stairs to go sit in her room to cool off. (I, of course, also very much needed to cool off.) Plus I yelled at the baby after Sister came back down 'cause I STILL couldn't get Sister focused and Bean tore about the house getting into everything she knew she wasn't supposed to get into--plant leaf ripping, much drawer emptying, block throwing, dog slapping, and file cabinet paper flinging--just so I'd pay her some attention. Yeah, yelled at the baby. Is it any wonder that Sister's picking this up from me when Bean gets into her stuff? Way to model good mama behavior, Self!

Later that evening, Husband and I talked about the lawyer appointment we'd had just that morning where we discussed our wills. The appointment had gone fine, but Husband and I had a heated discussion over whether I should leave the money for Sister under the management of her perpetually unemployed father if I were to die. I don't want to because I'm afraid he'll spend it all on remaining unemployed so that she'll have nothing by the time she goes to college. Husband argued that making someone else a trustee is impractical, and anyway which of us inherits money at such a young age? I'm still unsure what to do. But I cried again that night.

And since then, I've spent precious naptime working either on an application for a new life insurance policy or on Brownie stuff.

Just sucky, I tell ya. Hope y'all are doing better than I am!


"Grandi" said...

What a stressful thing! You know - her dad does not need to be in charge - you can place someone else - one of your trusted friends or siblings or even a grandparent. You can also make changes in that designation if situations change and lightning strikes dad and he becomes responsible!

Chances are she will be old and grey by the time this becomes an issue and you can just name her as a trustee to the "Sugar Pappa & Momma Trust"!

Brony said...

I am so sorry to hear that things are so sucky. Don't be too hard on yourself. We all yell.

Will's can be hard. Trust in yourself. Hope that no one ever needs to use it until you are old.

Keep breathing. I hope things get better for you after some sleep.

Mama D said...

On the days when I find myself yelling at the baby I often think "Should I really have another one?". Why is it though that we never pause during our most brilliant parenting moments and say to ourselves "I am just a fantastic mama!". We are so hard on ourselves.

Sorry you had a bad time. I hope you have a great week to make up for it.

You reminded me that we really need to make up a will.

Mommygoth said...

Slime! Argh!