Thursday, July 10, 2008

Crisp around the edges

Husband has taken all three girls and the dog out for an evening's walk around the neighborhood. I am grateful, if all too aware how quickly this little piece of quiet will last.

I am burnt out, I think. Short-tempered with everyone, sleep-deprived, and having dreams about how I fail at trying to fix things or make them better. Husband told me the other night that my overreacting to Bean's nightly ruining of dinner is in fact ruining EVERYONE'S dinner. I've decided that ignoring my middle daughter at dinner is my best strategy, but I can't just ignore everyone all the time.

Actually, I don't know what the hell I need to make this better. I mean, I THINK I know what I need, but it's so unlikely that I'm going to get it anytime soon that it seems pointless to try and do much. I need to be able to sleep nights for at least one long chunk of time. I need to be not the only one maintaining the house on a daily basis. I need someone to fix shit that's broken around here. I need some time daily to do a little something for myself--just an hour or so would do. And I don't want to make it the very last thing in my day after the dishes are done and the mess picked up and the trash taken out and the laundry folded.

And while I'm making a list of things that I'd get in my ideal world, I'd like for kids not to scream back or sigh dramatically or glower sullenly at me if I ask them to do something they're not particularly fond of. I'd like people to remember the things that I tell them or request of them for longer than the day that I tell or request them. I'd like my mother to be involved more in my kids' lives and, like, keep them at her house sometimes. I'd like to have no t.v. I'd like to chuck the computer out the window and go live in a big, ancient farmhouse somewhere out in the country where there was a pond and animals and a huge garden and quiet and you could still see the stars at night.

All that stuff I want. Anyone else feel like joining me?


Suzanne said...

Yes, yes, yes!

Except, there will be someone at the farm who actually does all the work, right?

Joan said...

I'll join you! I would love a farm house, garden, pond, and animals, etc. Well you do have the garden, pond, and animals - just kinda on a smaller scale!
I wish I could say something to help you out. I can't think of anything. You have a lot going on with 2 little ones, a tween, and the new business. I really can't offer any advice regarding kids' attitudes. I'm struggling with that right now. My husband gave me a lecture how I react to situations shapes our family. That set me off. I'll be glad to take you out! good luck

devilish southern belle said...

Heh, when mine are around, I definitely feel like joining in!

Amber said...

Sigh.. I feel ya. Attitudes around here have been fabulous since I've instituted some new rules:

1a. If you annoy mom in any way you will be given a chore of her choosing.

1b. Should you whine, complain, groan about, not complete satisfactorily that chore you will be given another chore to do as well.

1c. You will not be asked more then once, if you do not do it then you will be escorted (sounds so much nicer then dragged kicking and screaming) to your room until you can decide to be a kid whom I want to spend time around.

1d. Sometimes when mom is pissy it's best just to play outside.

See? it's really just one rule. ;)

Mama D said...

I struggle with the chucking of the computer part. I want to chuck it when my husband is reading some DUMB (in my opinion) article on god knows what and not helping me out. But I like to blog and read and check email... so I wouldn't want to do without.

Could you make a little list for your husband with a couple of those very valid and not so difficult tasks on it saying that you would be a happier person if he could help you out with them? Or is that just a crazy idea?

I hope you are feeling better soon and the crispiness passes.

Beth said...

gawd yes!!!!!! to everything....and there will be NO kids or husbands, right??? ;)

Anonymous said...

Have you ever used an outhouse in July? Trust me, you want to request a Laura Ingalls house with plumbing! She didn't get one until she got married! Yikes!

As for Beans, try ignoring her completely (no look, no touch, no talk). It will drive her batty. Just keep it up through her initial "I'll show her how disruptive I can be" tantrums. I used to do this with my baby brother Will, and he still can't stand it!

Sugarmama said...

Hmm, good point, Honeywine. There should DEFINITELY be indoor plumbing in my farmhouse. As long as I don't have to clean the bathrooms, of course!

chris said...

Wow. I could have written this. Okay, maybe not as well, but the same sentiment.

Hang in there.

oonaballoona said...