Brutal

Okay, whine going away now after sitting up there at the top of my blog page so pathetically for the last 2 weeks. This has been a hard, hard week, though, where I've just needed to keep my head down and get through it. My mother had double knee replacement surgery and I helped take care of my 2 little brothers while she was in the hospital; we helped a friend with emergency overnight childcare while she labored with her 2nd baby; I planned and held a Girl Scout meeting to plan for Sister's troop's camping trip next weekend with a rowdy Bean also in attendance; Husband left town for 4 days; and Bean was not only in a foul mood but also had trouble sleeping nearly every night that he was gone. I've literally been more exhausted than I can ever remember being. Even having 3 of my college friends over on Friday for our much-anticipated ladies' sleepover didn't really help. I mean, it was great spending time with them, but I felt half-dead and couldn't really enjoy them properly.

Things are looking up now. Husband should be arriving back home in the next hour and Bean slept through the night last night. And that's all it takes for me to be happy and okay again apparently!

Whine

I can't seem to climb out of the doldrums I'm in right now. Do any of you ever wake up feeling resentful as hell at just everything? Having to wake up super early so you'll be sure to get a shower before the baby wakes, the damn dog whining to be let out, the cats yowling at you to be fed, the 31-pound baby refusing to be put down and demanding her morning smoothie, just everything happening first thing in the morning all at once and you're in charge of it all? With no time to just sit a minute quietly with your hot tea and think about the day? And no chance in hell of that happening in the next few years at all?

Ugh. How do I snap out of this? How do you snap out of it?

Bipolar

I haven't posted in quite some time, trying to avoid spewing bile again as I slog through yet another period of Bean sleep problems. I can't believe the harpie I become when I'm sleep-deprived! But all you mamas know about that already. I do hope to be a normal, loving mama again one of these days.

Just quickly, I wanted to put down here the entertaining montage of things on my kitchen counter after a week's vacation from school. They are: a half-finished mega bottle of cheap red wine, a mushroom log sprouting its first crop of organic, home-grown shiitakes, and a tray of fluorescent pink Peeps bunnies, mostly eaten and the remainder achieving a delightful dry sugar crust in this damn cold snap we're having.

I may once have worked as a pastry chef, but no one can ever accuse me of being a food snob.